I just remembered (with a gentle nudge from the Lord) that today is the 57th anniversary of my “born again” day. Easter Sunday 1958. That ‘special memory’ is of one of the most important days of my life.
It wasn’t a surprise, but a direct result of a dear friend who had been dealing with my, “I’m not a bad person. I go to church. I read my Bible. I teach Sunday School. I’ve been the secretary/treasure of the Sunday School when I was a teenager. How can you think I’m not a Christian?”
Many times she had talked to me about ‘being born again’. What did she expect from me? Finally she suggested that since I already prayed a lot and said I loved the Lord that I pray and ask God to show me what He thought. Very confidently I replied that I’d do that just to prove her that I was fine and assured of Heaven.
I reread the story of Nicodemus (Joan suggested I read John 3 verses 1 through 21) No problem, I thought. I’d already read the whole Bible through a few times before that as part of contests I’d been in during my days in church. Won gifts for memorizing many of the special verses as a child. I always loved to read and it was easy for me to learn anything that appealed to me.
But this time when I read the story of Nicodemus and compared my knowledge and devotion I realized how far I was from being as wise and devoted as him. After all he was a teacher and very important spiritual leader. Score one for Joan and her point of view.
Days later I had a vivid dream. I still remember many details of that dream.
it was judgement day and I don’t remember any other people being there, except for a group of dancers doing a type of worshipful dancing to beautiful music. (In 1958, most churches frowned on dancing of any kind. That’s probably why the memory stayed with me. Many years later when our CMI director introduced dancers as part of our choir and they performed the same type of dancing it caused a thrill as I recognized the same movements to music.)
Back to the dream. For some reason the Lord was sitting behind a large table. As I approached I threw my car keys on the table. It seemed as if I knew if He accepted the keys I would be admitted to Heaven ( I know that’s not the scriptural description of the Judgement day) but in my dream it was.
He pushed them back to me. Typical of my personality I said “Lord, Why?” His reply shook all my former confidence when He simply said, “You love pleasure more than you love me” At that point I woke up and realized I wasn’t okay, I needed to be born again.
End of story? Not if you know me !
Easter was coming soon so I told Joan that I was going to get saved at the Easter Sunrise Service. In my heart I thought that anyone who got up that early to go to church would be more liable to understand if I went to the alter to get ‘saved’. Joan kind of smiled and told me I needed to wait for an invitation. I told her Miss Smith (our current preacher) wasn’t doing that yet. (She told me afterward that she didn’t feel anyone in our church was ready for that yet. She had been preaching about salvation but was waiting until such a dramatic change wouldn’t be such a shock to most of the congregation.)
But typical of me I didn’t think the Lord would care if I went up to the altar at the end of the service when she was dismissing us in prayer.
Next problem for me was none of my dresses were what I thought was the proper type of dress to wear when going to the altar to get saved. So what did I do? I prayed for the Lord to show me the dress I should wear. The little town closest to us had a tiny shop where I thought I might find one that would be appropriate. Almost to the back corner of the shop I found the perfect (in my mind) dress. So I bought it and told Joan the Lord must be okay with my plan. Again that same smile.
Sunrise service began as I sat there in my modest pale pink dress and comfortably waited for the closing prayer. Big surprise. A young lady singing her very first solo in church closed the service. I couldn’t feel right in going up and interrupting her. I went home very disappointed. Then I reasoned that I’d wait for another Sunday when there wouldn’t be an overflowing crowd typical of Easter Sunday.
So I put on my choir robe and we went up to the platform behind the preacher to sing. It was almost to the end of the special service and preaching when I felt the Lord nudge me to go down to the altar NOW. Oh No Lord! Not now in front of so many people who knew me. A lot of them didn’t even attend any church most Sundays. The overflow doors were even open and people were filling about 1/3 of the seats. My family, parents, all the relatives who would be at the family dinner, they would all think I’d gone to extremes like the members of two of the other churches. They would be so ashamed of my action. Especially in front of all these people. No Lord today is just not the right day!
As I started to relax again, I started shaking inside and then all over. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that He wouldn’t say anything more. I had a choice. Go now or fall down right up there in the choir area. I turned to the lady next to me and said, “I have to go down to the altar. Will you come with me?” She agreed and I went. Such joy! Such peace! I’ve never been the same! Praise our wonderful Lord!
Were there repercussions? Even more that I expected. Not as vocal as far as the family was concerned. Mostly quiet disapproval. A hurt attitude if church interfered with some of the family plans, mostly by making us late getting to dinners etc. I found out later they had expressed the thought to others that it was just another of Jackie’s whims, she’ll soon get over it. When Bill got saved a few months later they told the same friend that now they supposed we’d both stay fanatical.
The surprise came when Miss Smith told me how many of the people asked what was wrong with Jackie when they shook hands with her after the service on their way out the door. Lots of them understood a few months later when the church had a revival service (the first in several years) That’s when Bill was born again and our lives changed forever.
Have you joined us yet in making Jesus the Lord of your life? It’s the only real security in this world and for all eternity !
jakicheli535 